| jason's dirty little secrets... |
[06 Feb 2010|10:17pm] |
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Hot Snakes |
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Do you have, or not have, any views that just don't meld with your surrounding social strata? Do you not discuss these much, not because of embarrassment, but because you just don't really care? I have a couple:
- I am indifferent to musical formats. Really. I couldn't care less if a recording was on vinyl, cd, cassette, 8-track...whatever. As long as I can listen to it and it sounds good, bring it on. This has not always gone over well in the underground punk subculture I am semi-immersed in. Vinyl rules, and that's all there is to it. Now I GET that vinyl technically has the potential to sound better than other mediums. But usually the nerds that argue this point have a turntable hooked up to a boombox from 1989, which is hooked into speakers that are from 1975 and may or may not be ripped or blown out. I also have had the misfortune to have been in a band that put out a 7" that, for cost reasons, was put on cheap vinyl, and in the end sounded far WORSE than it would have on one of those EVIL compact disks. If you can do a record and do it right, by all means do a record. But if you are paying MORE to sound WORSE just to be cool...come on. Bottom line- if you like music, get a good stereo. If you put out music, make a cool cover, make the lyrics readable, and make it sound as good as you can, no matter what the format. This is how I do.
-Food politics do nothing for me. I greatly respect veggie/vegan folks and would never mock that lifestyle. I've got plenty of radical, utopian ideals as well, so I can relate. But I just feel that if I was to make a list of "top 100 problems in the world" that human animal consumption would probably come up in the 50's or 60's. Meaning there is a lot of shit that needs to be worried about before that. Also, food politics are just so privileged. A majority of humanity is struggling to eat at all. And yes, I GET that there are environmental consequences an I GET that there are health issues, but there is just so much else I'd rather focus on- good and bad.
So yeah, crucify me, crucify me.
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| ugh... |
[02 Feb 2010|07:51pm] |
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The Queers |
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Sometimes, you try so hard to not be an asshole, you become an asshole.
I have a major phobia when it comes to being critical of people I care about and like. It is a regrettable trait that has caused me trouble more than once in this life, and I fear it will continue to.
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| now I'm bored and old... |
[21 Jan 2010|08:52pm] |
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D4 |
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I was getting an eye exam this evening, and it took me to a part of Buffalo I'm not in much. On the way home I was driving past a friend's street, and thought I'd pop in and say hi. Then I realized that, duh, you just can't pop in anymore, and least without seeming weird, rude, or both. Pop ins are a major social faux pas in the age of texts, cell phones, email, facebook, myspace, twitter, ect. Ten years ago a pop in visit would be acceptable. Fifteen years ago, it was the norm. Sure, you could call someone's land line phone and let them know you wanted to visit, but that's only if you had phone access and the person answered. So you would just pop in. But alas, you can't do it anymore.
So instead of a social call, I got Mighty Taco, went home, went on the internet alone, and typed this. Progress?
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| pennies from heaven (or my dresser) |
[11 Jan 2010|10:12pm] |
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I just spent a long while rolling up years of pennies. Not sure how long it took, but it lasted one Leatherface album, one Avail album, and half the Rites of Spring discography. Totaled $22 in pennies, and another $27 in other change. Nice haul of "free" money.
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| suburban nightmares... |
[09 Jan 2010|08:04pm] |
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When I die and go hell, it is going to look just like Niagara Falls Boulevard.
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| :( |
[18 Dec 2009|11:49pm] |
So I have, kind of by accident, been conducting a bit of a social experiment over the last few months. I have always been a wee bit socially awkward, but I am a really friendly, nice guy. To make up for the awkwardness, I have always made the point of going around at large gatherings (shows, parties, ect) and "chatting up" the people I was acquainted with, and even some I was not. This always made for good conversation and a good time. But I almost always was the one that initiated the conversation. But a a gathering-I think a show-late this summer, I was not feeling that well. I decided to hang back, and sit by myself. Mind you, I was not brooding or looking pissed or anything. I was amazed that nearly no one talked to me the entire 3 or 4 hours I was there. There were tons of people I knew there, including many I consider "nice" folks.
Hoping it was a fluke, I have tried it several more times, with the same disappointing result. Thank god/satan for the precious few who actually have come up and talked to me...at least I am not a total pariah. But overall I am really fucking bitter and pissed about this. Best case scenario- most of the people in my current "friend" group are cliquish assholes. Worst case scenario- I am just unlikeable and irrelevant in said friend group. Either way, this is just depressing on a massive scale. The only saving grace in all this is that I KNOW it is about the other people to some extent. A similar experiment conducted 3 or 5 or 10 years ago would not have yielded the same results. At least I don't think so. Now I'm paranoid.
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| snow-covered jack-o-lanterns... |
[18 Dec 2009|01:22am] |
I want to do a case study and photo essay on people who leave their holiday decorations up long after that particular holiday has passed. Like when you walk by a house this time of year and it has a zillon blinking lights on it, and yet there is one of those pumpkin leaf bags still sitting in the yard, half covered with snow. Or when you see pumpkins- rotted, frozen, and rotted again- on someones porch come spring time. Or when you go to someones house in July for a cookout and notice they still have Christmas lights around the peak of their garage roof. And they say "well, we leave them up, but don't light them until December."
I just find this fascinating for some odd reason. On one hand- how lazy can you be? If you have the energy to put UP Christmas lights, how hard is it to simultaneously take DOWN your Halloween or Thanksgiving decor? But on the other hand, I am fascinated by how these people (subconsciously or otherwise) flout society's conventions by doing this. Growing up, my Dad would always talk about how "trashy" it was for people to leave their decor up out of season. I guess I see it as a form of "I don't give a fuck what people think about me" rebellion. Either way, it always attracts my attention.
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| It's deja vu all over again... |
[11 Dec 2009|11:12pm] |
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Have you ever had a case of deja vu that fucked with you for longer than it probably should? I had that happen tonight. I was at a christmas party, and among the dozens of people there was this girl named Carissa. Just one of dozens of people I met and talked to for 30 seconds about how cold it is out, how the Sabres are doing, what they are doing for christmas, ect. The standard stuff you discuss when you and the person know damn well you may never speak to one another again, but, you know, civility and all.
But anyway, this Carissa looks EXACTLY like this girl I used to work with/had a major crush on/had a fling with back about 6 or 7 years ago. I mean almost dead on- like 85 percent the same. This girl (Melissa) was notable in that our relationship lasted a matter of weeks, but was fairly intense while it lasted. It was also one of the few times something ever came of a crush I had- most of my crushes result in me wanting to bash my head into a wall, and little else. The thing is though, I hadn't thought about Melissa in YEARS. I think she moved not long after the aforementioned fling and we never stayed in touch for various reasons.
It just kind of hit me hard that someone I liked and thought about so much at one time now had nearly escaped my memory entirely. It's not this specific case or these specific people really, it's just the idea that such strong feelings can fade to such dim memories over time. I dunno, it is just kind of messing with me.
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| cold vs. warm |
[25 Nov 2009|03:54pm] |
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The Buffalo News sent out all these flyers with various foreboding pics of the impending winter- snowy roads, people shoveling, icicles, ect- with the word BURRRRRRR! written across it. On the other side there is a guy by his fireplace reading the News safe and warm. My question is: why does winter and the cold get a total bad rap? Sure, winter sucks in some ways, but I feel it is unfairly vilified. Does the news put out a flyer in the late spring showing people sweating their ass off and passing out from heat stroke with the word HOTTTTTTT! written over it? No. I hate hot, muggy, bug-infested August days far more than I hate freezing January days.
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| Extreme Home Makeover: the good, the bad, & the ugly. |
[20 Nov 2009|11:46am] |
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So for the last few weeks, Extreme Home Makeovers- the TV show were they pick a family in need and redo their house for them- has been all the buzz in Buffalo. They came down to the lower west side and picked a house on Massachusetts Ave. One of the buildings I work in is near the area. On a scale of one to ten, ten being crappiest, I'd say this house is in a solid "7" crappy neighborhood. I can stand on a spot where a kid got shot to death a couple months back and look down the street a few blocks and see the hubub. And indeed, there is hubub. This is ALL that has been on the news and talk radio as well as "water cooler" conversation. The crowd that descended on the area...you'd think it was the freaking second coming of christ. Amidst all the hype, some light has been shed on the character of Western New York.
THE GOOD: The producers of the show say that of all the cities they have ever been to, Buffalo has had the most volunteers and most donations. The area was SWAMPED with people. You couldn't get within three blocks of the house. In fact, there was so much manpower and material donation that people began fixing up other houses on the street! I find this amazing considering we are one of the poorer areas of the country. Buffalo still finds a way to help out and come together, regardless.
THE BAD: Whenever the national eye is on Buffalo I feel we behave like bumpkins. As great as the charity displayed was, I couldn't help but wonder how many people flocked in from the suburbs just to get on camera or to tell their friends back in Williamsville that "oh, yeah, I was down in the city at the Makeover house!" It is like when T.O. came to play for the Bills; you have crowds at the airport and the mayor giving him the key to the city. It seems we are starved for attention, and somehow need to validate our existence by getting national exposure. And then you had the suburban thing. I don't think that that many white people have been in that part of Buffalo since the 1950's! Of course, there were cops everywhere and there was like a perimeter set up to keep all the people from the burbs from having to be exposed to the brunt of the west side peoples. That was kind of sickening. Seeing all the fancy SUV's and trucks in the area just highlighted how poor downtown really is. My favorite moment- these white women form Clarance in matching blue shirts were sitting on the edge of the street serving coffee to volunteers. As they chatted, a homeless black guy riding a girls bike with a bag of cans slung over his shoulder rode by. They exchanged a quick glance; I can only guess what they were thinking.
THE UGLY: Proof that all the hype really got out of hand came late in the process. The president of Canisius College came down and announced that the family- who has five kids- would receive 5 fully paid scholarships to Canisius. I don't know if Canisius just wanted to get on national TV or what, but I feel this was bullshit. The people just got a free fucking new house! And mind you, they did nothing special to deserve this, they just were picked. Spread the wealth, people! There are plenty of other people in need. I thought this was very skeezy, disingenuous, and wasteful.
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| hall to the o to the ween |
[26 Oct 2009|05:57pm] |
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Leatherface |
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For lack of anything really good going on in Buffalo- and the fact Halloween is on a Saturday- we (my family) have decided to do a one time comeback of our scary Halloween porch in Medina. The history of this stems from the time I was a wee lad and used to get really really scared at a particular house in Medina when I was trick-or-treating. I decided THAT was what I wanted to do on Halloween. So, from 1984-2003 we were one of "those" families that decorated and scared the kiddies. In 04 I moved too far out of the area and, being somewhat old by then anyway to be doing such things, we discontinued it. By that time it had gotten pretty elaborate with the decorations, to the point of me having to take time off from work before Halloween to assemble everything. This year it has been even worse because over the last 6 years, much of the decor has been moved, disassembled, or thrown out. So reconstructing from scratch has been a chore to say the least. Lots 'o work. But it should be a fun time nonetheless and I am looking forward to it.
On that note FUCK the powers that be that decided a few years back to move daylight savings time back a week. This means it does not get dark till after 6:30, meaning most of trick-or-treating will be during daylight. How scary is that?
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| All good things must end... |
[14 Oct 2009|12:01am] |
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Went on the annual Salem MA October trip that I have made nearly every year since 2001. It has always been a special time and a special place for me- spooky and mystical, possessing a metaphoric historic relevance, and beautiful. But it has kind of lost it. Not because I'm used to, or sick of, it. It has just become overdone and watered down.
The whole month of October is "Haunted Happenings" and there are tons of special events and things to do in the lead up to Halloween. In 2001, my first visit, that just meant that a few of the museums stayed open a bit later, and there was a ghost walk you could go on at night. But now, with many in Salem seeing there is money to be made, there are a huge amount of new "attractions" that draw in more people, but frankly, suck. For example, the ghost walk I have been going on since 01 is led by professional storytellers who use only factual accurate tales about the area. It is VERY well done. But over the last years there have been more and more imitators who make up fanciful stories about werewolves and vampires and such, even though they are not based in fact. They are led by younger people who often dress up wacky and convince people to take photos in the graveyards so they can point out the "orbs" in the picture (dust particles anyone?).
And the crowds are out of control. It has always been busy, but now you can't even move on the streets and have to get reservations hours in advance to go to any of the museums. When you do get in one of the museums, they rush you through before you even get a chance to look around, so they can get the next group in. They are closing off streets so vendors can set up tents to sell chinsy crap to tourists. Cool old buildings are being "made over" to be used as bed and breakfasts. It has become really fake.
Looking for a new fall destination next year.
ps- did go to Lexington and Concord again, and that was awesome.
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| sports :( |
[15 Sep 2009|12:23am] |
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wgr postgame following another awful Bills loss |
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People who are not sports fans or who don't follow sports seem, understandably, to not get why some other people get so emotionally invested in sports. It does seem kind of dumb, but then again everyone gets too invested into something or other. Unless they are just really boring. You know, some people get wayyyy too into their job or relationship or politics or activism or whatever. Ideally, you balance your emotional investment out into several different areas. Then you have less chance of losing, ala "diversification" when playing the stock market.
Anyway, part of my "portfolio" is sports. I have been a fan of the baseball Orioles, the football Bills, and the hockey Sabres pretty much forever. My parents (Dad in particular) instilled in me that you pick a team and you are loyal to that team- good or bad. Winning is sweeter when you soldier through the bad times. The problem for me is, my teams lose all the time. They often lose in heartbreaking fashion. Even when they are good (rare), these teams find a way to tease me into thinking they may go all the way but then lose in the worst ways. It has gotten to the point where it is very psychologically depressing.
When I was 7 years old, the Orioles won the World Series. Since then, none of my teams has won a single championship, and I have been repeatedly traumatized by heartbreaking and illogical defeats. Scott Norwood and "wide right" in 1991. Four straight superbowl losses 91-94. Fluke "Music city Miracle" Bills loss in 99. 10 straight awful years for the Bills 2000-2009. 3 straight heartbreaking one-in-a-million fluke losses on Monday Night Football 07 08 09. Sabres "No Goal" in 99. Team that should/would have won the Cup in 06 if it were not for a rash of fluke injuries right at the end (and they still almost did it). Playoff heartbreak in 07. Oriole fluke loss in 96 Championship "Jeffery Maier" game . Heartbreaking 97 playoff loss. 12+ years of being awful and never getting the right players and losing at least 10-15 embarrassing games a year. It is ALL bad. The only good moments led to, later, bigger disappointment. It is just very depressing. Picture a job, or a relationship, were you just ALWAYS LOST.
Again, lucky for me, sports is not my life (I'm not a total loser). But it is a big enough part that I think it has seeped into my way of thinking. It's like having a stone in your shoe while hiking. It is not going to stop you, but it makes you very uncomfortable. I dunno, the "expect to lose" mentality I have with my teams is just really bad when combined with my cynical views on politics, society, and humanity in general. I'm not saying a Bills Super Bowl win would turn my way of thinking, or my life, around. But it would be nice to win. Just once.
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[16 Jun 2009|09:41pm] |
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Seriously, who buys this? What do you do with it? Do they make a Walt Whitman action figure so you can have them battle it out? I suspect the target market for this are those 20 or 30 somethings that like Nightmare Before Christmas WAY too much and carry Jack dolls around. I'm all for being youthful, and I like my share of childish things, but come on.
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| anonymous is the new anonymous... |
[07 Jun 2009|09:49pm] |
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ghostly? |
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Alex Kerns demo |
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In two separate conversations with two different people this weekend I was asked "you know Craig in that band Coworkers?" and "I went to that Lemuria/Coworkers show Tuesday, did you go?" Yuppers.
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| I like food, food is good. |
[03 Jun 2009|10:14pm] |
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Lemuria |
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As I may have noted, one of the perks of my current job is the free stuff. Ever couple weeks, someone leaves or gets evicted from an apartment in one of the buildings we manage. It is very common for these people to just flat out take off (since they usually owe money) and leave all their stuff behind. Not everything...the tv and computer (you know...essential life stuff) are usually gone, but the rest usually remains. Often they trash the apartment as well, so it is a mess. We are told to throw out EVERYTHING which makes me sick. So much good stuff goes in the trash. But we also get to keep what we want. I have a nice glass top patio table and two chairs I redid.
The apartment we did today had EVERYTHING left in the kitchen. Cupboards full of food. Enough pots and pans for 5 or 6 families. Silverware. I didn't want or need most of this stuff, but the food was good. Don't get me wrong, I have no interest in an open box of cookies or milk in the fridge. I'm not a total crimethinc scavenger. But the canned food is safe and clean, as well as the boxed stuff that is in sealed packets. I got canned veggies, fruit, lots of expensive soup, a half case of V8 juice cans (hate it, but it's free!), boxed pasta sides, mac & cheese type stuff, two boxes of baking soda (for the cat boxes!), a cool knife I found, and two rolls of christmas wrapping paper (yeah I know, but that's one less thing I will have to buy next December). I know this is no big deal, but I am a total cheapskate when it comes to food, so knowing I have got enough to eat for lunch, and enough sides for dinner, for like 2 weeks makes me happy. Free is good, and I don't feel guilty because the people are deadbeats and just leave it all behind.
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| Lost dog... |
[29 May 2009|05:14pm] |
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Strike Anywhere |
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Most days at work are fairly repetitive, but today there was a dog incident. I was out in front of one of our buildings on Richmond and this girl was walking her dogs by. Except one of them wasn't her dog. She calls me over and asks if I knew whose beagle this was. I guess it had been following her and her dog for blocks. I had no idea, but next thing I know, she is pawning this dog off on me. "Well I'm almost done with my walk and I have no idea where this dog is gonna go." As in "I don't wanna deal with it so here you take him." Which of course worked, because, hey, lost animals are like the SADDEST thing ever to me.
So I take this little, ultra friendly beagle with a blue collar and put him down in the basement of this particular building so he won't run away. Then I have to make all these undercover calls because if my boss or supervisor was to find me doing all this they would not be happy. Meanwhile the dog starts to whimper and bark in the basement, and I am just waiting for a tenant to call the office and say "there is a dog in the basement." I call SPCA, they say call Animal Control, and they actually have a missing dog report in for this very dog. Very good news! So they say they will pass my number to the owner and she will come get him.
I wait like AN HOUR, while I am supposed to be working elsewhere, and finally this lady calls me and says she is at work but her babysitter can come get the dog. I guess the dog lives on West Ferry, several blocks away, and the babysitter would have to stroller the baby down to pick up the dog. I say forget it, give me your address and I'll drop the dog off. The owner says the babysitter will be out front when I get there and gives me the babysitter's number.
I get there, the dog jumping all over my car, and nobody is out front. I call "Lexi" the babysitter and get voicemail. So I have to go to the door of this ritzy house. Lexi answers...she is a late teens/early 20's girl and she is half naked. Seriously, I thought her boobs were gonna fall out of her shirt and she had on the shortest shorts ever. I felt like I was in some bad porn..."Hi, I have a lost dog that lives here" and then the scantily clad babysitter thanks me and invites me in and one thing leads to another...but yeah this is the real world so she just thanked me and I walked "Cody" in from my car. It felt good to find him his home, and luckily no one else at work seemed any the wiser to my hour and a half of non- work.
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| shoes |
[26 May 2009|05:43pm] |
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Dick Dale |
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I have this pair of Chucks that I bought in like 1997. They are pretty useless...the soles have been superglued countless times, they have holes, no tread. But they are the last pair of AMERICAN made Chucks I have so I can't bear to throw them out. I never wear them, so they just take up space (albeit not much) in my closet. What should I do?
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| disease? |
[24 Apr 2009|12:43pm] |
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cynical |
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Did people even have eating disorders in, say, colonial America? Are there a lot of bulimics right now in Sudan? How did humans survive without meds for their kids ADD? What did germaphobes do before kleenex and hand sanitizer?
Call me an insensitive motherfucker, but I think we, as a society, have spoiled ourselves into creating "diseases" to make us feel special. And frankly, I'm sick of dealing with it and being told I don't "understand."
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doyourdamnthing's journal
